The Wedding Talk Jitters

It doesn't make much sense.

I'm an outgoing person with a big social network full of awesome people. I love to laugh and make people laugh - hence why I do comedy on the side, making an ass of myself on stage for the benefit of the audience. I absolutely love the process of planning the wedding - I wouldn't be writing a blog about it if I wasn't. And I take a lot of pride in all the personal details which Office Groom and I have added to make the wedding truly "ours."

However, if someone catches me off guard and asks me about the wedding - I get tongue tied. My palms get sweaty. Total panic in a matter of seconds.


Source

WTF?

It happened yesterday, and this isn't the first time. I was having dinner with OG and my closest girlfriends when the topic of our wedding flowers came up. First off, I should state that while I love flowers, I don't know very much about them. So when they started asking me questions about what kind of blooms I wanted and in what arrangement, words seemed to escape me. I managed to put together a few cohesive sentences, but I could tell that they could tell that I really didn't want to talk about it.

When I got home, I pointed this out to OG, who had noticed it too. And I went on to ramble through my thoughts, trying to figure out why I get the jitters every time someone asks me about the wedding.

This is what I think may be the reasons...

While I’m very comfortable in front of large groups of people, it’s usually because I’m onstage being someone else, or it’s just a gathering that doesn’t have me as the center of attention. The wedding will be first time all eyes are on me - as me, and it freaks me out! Plus, the event couldn't be a better representation of who OG and I are, and it's weird to open up so honestly about myself in front of so many people all at once.

And then there's the judging. On the outside I may appear confident, but I crumble into pieces easily when people criticize. And when it comes to weddings, everyone, I mean everyone , always has an opinion on something. I've shared this feeling with OG and friends, and they all say the same thing. "This is your wedding! Who cares what other people think?" And the reasonable part of me totally gets it, but at the end of the day I still care a little bit about what others will say.

I've promised myself, and OG that I would do my best to talk more confidently about the weding when people ask about it and muster up the courage to not shy away and avoid the topic. And if anyone else reading this has felt similar about their wedding, please share! It'd be great to know I'm not alone!