The Pros and Cons of a long engagement

A bit of a backstory. My fiance and I got engaged last spring. Before that we had been together for over four years (and living together for 2 1/2 of those years). While the actual proposal was a huge surprise to me, we had been having the marriage talk waaaay before it happened, and early in our relationship there was no doubt in either of our minds that this was *it*.

Thus, we had figured out quite a bit before we were officially engaged. We had talked about who to invite and how many, where to get married (in a church), where to have the reception (another post on that) - that sorta stuff. And thank goodness for that because I have heard one too many stories of couples getting into arguments after the engagement about things that were "just coming up" or surprises.

After the proposal we quickly brainstormed the best time to get married, and decided that we would give ourselves a year and a half to plan - and more importantly - save up for the big day. It's been eight months since that wonderful night, and we have already done so much! The church? Done. The reception venue and caterer? Done & done (and gradually paying off every month). The photographer, the groomsmen attire rental, my dress & shoes, *take a breath* and the invitations? Doooooone.

Needless the say, one of the pros of having a relatively longer engagement is getting so much done in advance. It has also given us enough time to pay things off with actual money and not pulling out the plastic.

But - there's a flip side to it. Doing so much in advance does two things. One - It gives you too much time to think and rethink. I am very happy with all the choices we have made so far, but I'd be lying if I said that I still wasn't mildly interested with new bridal gown lines coming out, or not questioning whether we were to haste in our decisions. Two - You have to do everything in your will power NOT to talk about your wedding on a daily basis, thus making frenemies with everyone who has to hear about it!

So - what's a girl to do? Well, in terms of the first point, it's really helpful to schedule when you're going to do things. This is easier said than done, especially for an on-the-fly gal like me. Luckily, there's no way we could get everything done *now* because of one important thing - money. There's just so much we can pay for at a time, therefore I have no choice but to wait to get the next thing done, and for that, I'm thankful :)

As for the second point, I've discovered that the best way to get wedding talk out of my system is not with my fiance or my best friends, or even my mom... but with other women planning their weddings! Wedding Bee - I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

And when even those two remedies fail at times, I find that doing something completely unrelated to weddings (or work, where I am stuck in front of a computer) help. For this reason, I now own a cat, have a gym membership, and produce live variety shows with a group of friends :)

To all those ladies out there, painfully counting down the days until the big day - I salute you. I also feel your pain :)